Dear Elli,
You were brave today.
I signed you up to run an obstacle course race, and you did it. The course was designed for kids between nine and seventeen. In case you forgot, you're only five. But since you are currently obsessed with "American Ninja Warrior" on television, you begged me to sign you up. And I'm a total sucker.
The course was too big for you, but you finished it anyway.
You actually climbed a 20-foot cargo net and scaled down a wall on the other side. I was right there next to you, but you did the work on your own.
At the top, I was holding your arm and I could feel you trembling. We were 20 feet in the air, and you were terrified. But you swung your leg over the wall and you scaled down, with everyone cheering you on. You were, by far, the youngest kid on the course.
As I was climbing down behind you, I overheard a man say to his buddy, "Did you see that little girl? She did that all by herself!" (Proudest moment EVER!)
More importantly than my pride, you were proud of yourself. You earned your medal at the end of that race, and you knew it. You are just about the most badass five year old on the planet.
But on the way home, at the very end of a long day, you told me that you were really scared of that wall. And you seemed ashamed of your fear. So I turned the radio down, which means shit just got real. Because I never turn the radio down.
So, with the radio down, I said, "I'm about to tell you something really important, and I need you to try your hardest to remember this forever." "Being brave does not mean that you're not afraid. Being brave means that you are really afraid, but you go for it anyway."
I asked you if you understood what I meant, and you smiled. You got it, kiddo. You understood.
I'm proud because you were terrified of that wall, but you climbed it anyway. You are one of the bravest individuals I know. And even though you're only five, I admire you. You're gonna change the world, kid. And I can't wait to watch.
I love you.
Mom
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