Dear Elli,
I'm a woman. Thank you, Captain Obvious, right?
These days, it seems people are getting their panties in a bunch about feminism. What is feminism? Who is the best feminist? And can a true feminist do historically feminine things and still be a feminist?
I just read the most mind-numbingly pointless article regarding whether wearing heels disqualifies a woman from being a real feminist. I'm not shitting you. You can thank the author of that article for this letter. We both clearly have too much time on our hands.
The definition of feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. Thank you, Google.
That seems fairly cut and dry. And, per the definition above, I am a feminist. Who isn't? This is 2014, for crying out loud. Who the hell thinks women should NOT be equal to men? I'll tell you who. Stupid people. That's it. Everyone else is a feminist, by definition.
So why do people have to make feminism something it's not? It's not fashion. It's not sexuality. It's not a style of living. It's not a specific career, or lack thereof. And it's certainly not a freaking competition. For God's sake, people are so screwed up.
Feminism is a value. It is a cultural, family, and intensely personal value. It is a sub-category of overall human equality. It is both fundamental, and extraordinarily simple.
As a feminist by definition, there is not a single doubt in my mind that I am equal to any and every man. I am not the same, but I am equal.
I don't have to be the same in order to be equal. I don't need to burn my bra or stop shaving my legs. I don't need to wear orthotic loafers or stop highlighting my hair. I don't need to discount or devalue the importance of my role as a wife or a mother. I don't need to hide the fact that I am a woman.
I don't want to be a man. I want to be me. I wear both a bra (thank God), and heels. I spend an unbelievable sum of money on my hair. I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, and one hell of an awesome friend to hang out with. I am tough, yet I care deeply. I'm funny, but also serious. I'm outgoing, yet sometimes painfully shy. I laugh hard, and every once in awhile, I cry hard. I'm me. And I'm not hiding.
Nobody should ever have to hide. That's the whole freaking point to equality. It's also the beauty of it. We don't have to be the same in order to be treated the same.
If there is anything I ever say to you that sticks, I want you to always be yourself. Strive to be the best version of yourself. Whatever that means for you. Wear what you want. Do what you want. Be who you are.
And regardless of who that is, know that you are equal. Not despite the fact that you are a woman, but because of the fact that you are a human being. You don't need to prove that to anyone. It just is.
I love you, my little human.
Mom
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