Dear Elli,
Imperfection is an integral part of the human condition. It's the part that makes being alive in this world so heartbreaking. And yet so beautiful.
You are becoming aware of the idea of imperfection. Of mine. Of the people around you. And of your own. To me, this is heartbreaking. Yet also beautiful.
It is heartbreaking because the awareness of imperfection is painful. Especially the awareness of your own imperfection. And the last thing I want for you is pain.
But it is beautiful because it means you are growing. You are learning what it is to be human. And if we experience life the right way, the awareness and acceptance of human imperfection will enable the growth of empathy. Of love and acceptance in their truest forms. Those things are beautiful.
You are only beginning your awareness of these things. It doesn't get any easier. You will only see more imperfection as you grow. This hurts deeply, but it will also help you continue to grow.
The true depth of human imperfection is disturbing at times. It is to me. I'm 32 years old as I write this, and I'm not sure I fully understand the depth of my own imperfection, let alone that of others. As much as I've been disappointed by the flaws in others, I've also been disappointed by my own.
We are all hurt by someone at one time or another. And we are all the ones who do the hurting. Nobody is immune. Nobody is perfect.
A wise woman once told me she laughs when people tell her they don't lie. Because they just did.
Another wise woman told me that a judgemental young person is not particularly concerning. But a judgemental adult is extraordinarily scary.
This is because, as we experience life, we encounter more and more of our own imperfection. We see more of our personal flaws. We feel more joy, more pain, more responsibility, more life. And we learn just how imperfect we are in the process.
After all that experience, we are naturally more accepting of the imperfections in others. More empathetic. Only a complete lack of self awareness or a total unwillingness to accept fault could inhibit that progression. And both of those things are extraordinarily scary.
My wish for you is that you always remember that you are no more or less imperfect than anyone else. That you own your imperfections. And let others own theirs. That you work hard to accept the existence of imperfection, while you also never stop working to improve upon it. That you never let it define you. Because you are not your imperfections. You are far more than that. And so is everyone else.
I love you, flaws and all.
- Your Imperfect Mom
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