Dear Elli,
I just finished helping you with your math homework. Helping you with math homework is hellish. God help me. I need a drink. And maybe a cigarette.
Helping you with math homework doesn't suck because you have any particular difficulty with it. You don't. You understand it just fine. But you hate math. So instead of just plowing through it and getting it over with like a rational human being, you do everything possible to avoid actually doing it.
Tonight you sang, wiggled in your chair, got a blanket from your bed to "snuggle with", played with the wax packaging from my Baby Bell cheese until it melted in your hand and stuck to the table, spoke in a British accent, slurped your ice water in a way that made me feel homicidal, and just generally irritated the shit out of me.
Look kid, I've told you before and I'm sure I'll tell you a million more times. I don't expect perfect grades. I honestly couldn't care less. I mean it's great and definitely an accomplishment and I am very proud of you when you achieve that perfect report card every now and then. Perfect grades are an indication of self-discipline, compliance, and a knack for very successfully retaining and then regurgitating information. But guess what? With the exception of self-discipline, the rest of those qualities are of questionable value in the real world. So I don't care about perfect grades. Good grades are sufficient.
But I do care about that self-discipline part. It's super important.
You're smart. Wicked smart in some ways. And bored as hell sometimes. Your teachers know it. I know it. We all get it. But you still have to do your math homework. That's where the self-discipline thing comes in. Sometimes you actually do have to conform to society's expectations in order to keep moving forward in life and achieve your ultimate goals.
I know it sucks. But we all have to learn to do stuff we don't like sometimes. Math homework is one of those things. It's temporary, though. Seriously. You can refuse to convert improper fractions to mixed numbers after you graduate. You can just use a calculator. Math as an adult is freaking amazing! You're gonna love it!
In the meantime, please stop speaking in a British accent and do your freaking math homework. Please.
I love you.
Mom
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