Old People

Dear Elli,

I work with a lot of older people.  And when I say older, I mean at least 15 years older than me.  Give or take a couple years, that means people 45 or older. 

The industry I work in just happens to be full of older people.  It's kind of funny, and awesome, because I am still considered a kid.  And I've been doing this for nearly a decade.  

But I've noticed something over the years that I hope to avoid.  When people reach the magic age range of 45-50, something happens.  They either stay super cool or they become really freaking lame.  I'm not shitting you.  You can almost smell the mothballs.

Clearly, 45-50 is the age where one must choose between music or talk radio, parties or knitting, beer or Diet Coke, and laughing or scowling at people.

I know people in this age range who appreciate the lyrical talents of The Notorious BIG, and others who prefer to discuss their bowel movements.  Some who wear normal clothes, and others who clearly have a fondness for the look of orthopedic footwear and white gym socks.  Some that enjoy stimulating conversation at parties, and others that are pissed because they are missing Storage Wars.  And these people are all the exact same age.  Weird. 

So I've calculated the years.  When I reach this magic age range, you will be heading off to college.  And I'm gonna be freaking awesome.  Period.  End of story.  Awesome. 

So please do me a favor.  If, when you're in high school, you notice me growing fond of talk radio or browsing the store for knitting needles, orthopedic shoes, or Diet Coke, please shoot me.  Right between the eyes. 

Thank you.  And I love you.

Mom