Dear Elli,
I don't like to play with dolls. I didn't like to play with them when I was a little girl, and I don't like to play with them now. I hate dolls. I find them to be just about the most un-fun things on the planet.
You love dolls, and you have about 761 of them. Rock on, little sister! Just don't ask me to play with them.
I will read to you. Do puzzles. Swing. Play basketball. Do cannonballs into the lake. Slip n' slide. Skateboard. Pogo-stick. Dance. Sing. Beat box. Anything, really. Except play with dolls.
I've tried. I have tried really hard. But it doesn't work. This is how it goes:
You hand me a naked Barbie. I put a dress on her. You put a dress on your Barbie. We both agree that our Barbies are beautiful.
You use a really creepy sounding voice, which is supposed to be your Barbie's voice, and your Barbie asks what my Barbie is doing this evening. Is she going to the ball? Who is her date?
You look at me expectantly for an answer from my Barbie. And I respond with a blank stare.
Because, while I am no stranger to making an ass of myself in order to please you, I simply cannot role play. Not with dolls. It makes me feel weird.
We've talked before about the fact that I'm a weirdo. It's no secret. And this is just one more weird element of my personality.
Dolls are great. And I receive immense pleasure from watching your imagination work as you play with them. You carry on 30 minute long conversations between several dolls at the same time, and the topics you come up with are hilarious. In fact, right now two Barbies are fighting over Ken in the bathtub with you. "Hi, my prince. Would you like to marry me?" "Of course, Madam!" "No, she's an evil witch and I'm the nice girl! She's cast a spell on you!"
I will never discourage you from using your imagination. You should do what works for you. And I'll do what works for me. Dolls work for you. Writing letters to a much older version of you works for me. That, along with the constantly running monologue in my head. My performances are so impressive, I actually laugh out loud at my one-liners in the shower sometimes.
I'm crazy as hell. But I love you. As long as you don't ask me to play with dolls.
Mom
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