Dear Elli,
We haven't talked about racism. Because you are three. But everyone else is talking about it right now. And peer pressure is a bitch.
So we were watching the news tonight, and with all the racism discussion lately I had a bright idea. We were going to have a talk! About race! Sweet idea! This will be valuable! And I will educate you!
My bright idea was a complete crock of shit. You taught me the lesson tonight. Here's how it went:
There was a black anchorwoman reporting on the news, so I asked you if you noticed anything about her that was different from you. Because I was curious as to what you would come up with.
You looked at me like I was an idiot and slowly explained (because I am clearly dimwitted and things need to be explained to me slowly) that the anchorwoman is an adult, not a kid like you. That was the only obvious difference to you. It didn't even occur to you that her skin was a different color. And that is why kids are better than adults. Way better.
But being that I am an idiotic adult, I pressed further. Because, dammit, we were going to talk about different races tonight! So I asked you about your friend, Sophia, who you were just hanging with yesterday at your cousin's birthday party. Sophia is black. I am aware of this. Most likely because I am an idiotic adult.
I asked you if you thought she looked any different from you. You wrinkled up your forehead in thought and said, "I don't think so, Mommy. I think maybe she just has a sunburn or something".
You were actually trying to reassure me. Like I was concerned about the difference in skin tone between you and Sophia and it was all going to be OK so don't worry about it you silly, ridiculous, moronic, dimwitted Mommy.
And that is why I am an idiot. And why you are freaking awesome. Because it is painfully obvious now that I am the one who needed reassurance that I am doing a half decent job at raising a good human being and you (being a three year old and all) gave it to me. That might be my most unimpressive parenting moment so far.
So after explaining to you what a sunburn actually looks like and that some people have dark skin and others have light skin and everyone is awesome either way, you went back to playing with your dolls. Because you don't care about skin. You care about playing. With everyone. Whether they are black, white, or sunburned.
And kids are better than adults. Way better. I know I said that already. But everyone should hear that at least twice.
Because kids don't understand hate. Or worry about trivial differences. And they will reassure adults that we don't need to worry about them either. Because it's probably just a sunburn or something. No big deal. What's all the freaking fuss about anyway? How annoying...
Until some weird guy (whether black, white, or sunburned) at the grocery store has a bandaid on his nose. Then kids will notice and loudly ask why that weird man has a bandaid on his nose. Right in front of the weird man with the bandaid on his nose. But that's it. They don't hate the weird man with the bandaid on his nose. They just want to know why it's there in the first place. Because it probably means he has a boo boo. And who the hell doesn't want to know all about that man's boo boo? That's really all that matters in the world anyway. Making sure everyone's boo boo's are taken care of. Idiotic adults...
I love you. And thank you for making me feel like an idiot. Because I thought I needed to explain the importance of loving everyone. But you already do. You make me proud.
Mom
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