Dear Elli,
Teachers have this saying, and it goes a little something like this: "There's no such thing as a stupid question."
I've heard that saying all my life, from elementary school through college and even in grad school. Hell, I still hear it in training sessions sometimes at work.
And now you hear it all the time, too.
I get it. The intent is to make everyone feel comfortable. To encourage participation and inquisitiveness. To fuel the process of learning. The sentiment is positive, and I'm a huge fan of positivity.
But here's the problem: It's bullshit. There is absolutely such thing as a stupid question. I hear stupid questions all the time. Sometimes from you.
Today you were reading the label on a drink bottle and asked, "What does low calorie mean, Mom?" I did one of these at you - 🙄. And then you almost immediately said, "It means the drink is low in calories."
Yep. Duh...
Listen, kid. I know I'm not the most sensitive soul on the planet. My parenting style is a little rough around the edges. I'm totally aware of it, and I'm mostly okay with it. I don't pat you on the head and tell you the answer when you ask me a stupid question. I go like this instead - 🙄 - until you figure out the answer yourself.
I don't do that because I'm mean, although I am definitely mean sometimes. I do it to make you think. Because stupid questions are almost always a result of lack of thought. And lack of thought results in voluntary ignorance, which is just about the most disgusting human characteristic I can think of.
We spend a ton of time around here discussing the importance of common sense and critical thinking. I'm super adamant about those two things. Like a preacher on the pulpit passionately waving my arms around type of adamant. For the love of God, child of mine - THINK! And do it LOGICALLY! Can I get an Amen!?
So like I said, I totally get the "There's no such thing as a stupid question" sentiment. I do. It's very nice. But I don't support the statement itself. I just can't.
Vomiting thoughtless questions at people without even the most basic preliminary mental exercise doesn't encourage learning. It encourages intellectual laziness. Questions should come as a result of processing thoughts. Not a precursor to thought itself.
Now before anybody gets all excited and thinks I'm being mean to teachers, I'm not. Teachers are awesome. I could never do that job. I would do this all day long - 🙄 - if I was in a classroom with a bunch of other people's children.
As far as I'm concerned, it's my job to teach and encourage you to think. Not what to think, but how to think. Besides keeping you fed, sheltered, and loved, it's probably the most important job I have as a parent. So I will absolutely do my best to teach and encourage you to think, whether it be figuring out the meaning of "low calorie" or making a significant life decision.
Look around, kid. You figured out today that "low calorie" means low calorie - all by yourself! You're already doing better than a lot of people. And all I had to do was this - 🙄. Keep up the good work!
I love you. And some questions are stupid as hell.
Mom
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