Dear Elli,
I was thinking today. I know, that's kind of scary. Anyway, I was thinking about a quote that I've seen all over the place lately:
"Happy people don't have the best of everything. They make the best of everything they have."
Great story. No doubt. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. But is it really always that simple? And is that universally something we should strive for? To just be happy with whatever situation we find ourselves in?
I grew up with that sentiment. That's what my mom did. And she really didn't have shit. She worked her ass off and she didn't have shit. She had a stack of bills on her desk, a phone ringing off the hook with bill collectors, and a little jerky kid to feed that did nothing but bitch about not having the same shit as all the other kids at school. (That kid was me, by the way. I was a total asshole.)
But she made it work. And she managed it all with the best sense of humor I've ever seen in my freaking life. I'll never forget listening to her give the bill collectors hell. "Yes, sir. I know you want some money. So do I! Do you know where we can get some? No? Well then get in line, Buddy! Cause I'm BROKE!"
My mom is a bad bitch. And she made my childhood a great one. I had everything I needed. And some stuff I didn't. I had tons of friends. And they all loved coming to hang at the house with my mom and I.
But the fact that my mom worked so hard but could never quite make ends meet pissed me off. Pissed me off something fierce. And I made myself a promise.
I promised myself that, when I grew up, I would never have a bill collector call my house and harrass me. That I would be respected. Respected in a way that only successful people experience. People with the best of everything.
So I plotted and planned. For years. I did my homework after school (most of the time) and I dreamed of the day people would look at me with respect.
I filled out the financial aid forms and I went to college. And I worked. I worked really freaking hard. For success. For respect.
I graduated from college and started my career. And I worked. Really freaking hard. And I learned how to be good at my job. To be respected.
And then I went back to college again, because "MBA" seemed like something that should be at the end of my name. Looks very respectable, right? I worked my ass off there, too.
And guess what? It worked. I worked. And it worked. Slowly but surely. And every time I feel discouraged or want to quit, I think about my mom on the phone. And I focus. Precision focus. On respect. On success.
So tell me again that we should all just make the best of what we have. And I'll tell you that, while we should certainly be grateful for all of our blessings, we should never be satisfied. We should always strive. To be better, faster, stronger, smarter.
If I didn't strive for more, I'd be stuck on the phone with the electric company right now. Do you know how many times I've spoken to a bill collector in my adult life? Not. One. Time.
And that makes me happy. Momentarily.
So while the sentiment of that really popular quote is great, it's also bullshit. It's weak. And I hope you can find the balance in your life someday to both appreciate what you have, but also to never stop striving for more. It is not selfish to want more. It's ambitious. Worthwhile. And I expect nothing less from you.
I love you.
Mom, MBA (See, I told you it looks respectable.)
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